Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
