Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
