Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
