Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
