shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
