I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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