My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Congratulations! We have a period
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
