we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
