He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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