Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
