I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
