What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
