so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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