so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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