remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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