woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
