is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
