He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
