I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
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