yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
there is puke in my bra ... again
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