in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
