'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
