Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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