I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
