I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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