are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
