Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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