I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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