The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
