Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize