Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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