I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i was born a porn star she said
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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