He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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