go do what you do best...puke behind churches
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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