let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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