oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
