i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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