I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
