We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Never underestimate the power of titties
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
