i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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