atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
