We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize