I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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