next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
