I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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