You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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