Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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