Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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