Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I need water and some morals
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize