Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
