She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
NoShamevember. You game?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
