I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
