I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
