He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
They left me at home... I'm a liability
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
