Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
