My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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