She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
