I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
This is my gift to your gina
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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