after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Found your dick twin last night
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize