he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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