His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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