my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
